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Come back daily to enjoy our 'Clean Joke of the Day'. Enjoy our collection of funny clean jokes in hundreds of categories along with funny quotes, riddles, funny cartoons, funny answering machine messages, one liners and more! Be sure to check out our newly revised Funny Quotes section.
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Jokes are words communicated with the intent of being laughed at or found funny. Laughter is the biological reaction of people to humor and funny jokes. Our clean jokes are healthy and are recommended to every human being daily.

Today's Funny Clean Jokes & Humor

Clean Joke of the Day

Albert Einstein

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

"The must incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."

"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your
grandmother."

"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat."

"When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones!"

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S RELATIVITY."

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

All quotes by Albert Einstein


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Funny Quotes of the Day

from Basic Quotations

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- Rita Rudner
More funny quotes on: [ Children ][ Dogs ]

I want to have children and I know my time is running out: I want to have them while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
- Rita Rudner
More funny quotes on: [ Children ]

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
More funny quotes on: [ Marriage ]



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