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Born: 1879-11-04
Died: 1935-08-15
Will Rogers Biography
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
[ Funny Idiot Quotes] [ Funny Stupidity Quotes] ***
I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
[ Funny Political Quotes] ***
There ought to be one day -- just one -- where there is open season on senators.
[ Funny Political Quotes] ***
Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
[ Funny Women Quotes] [ Funny Men Quotes] ***
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
[ Funny Government Quotes] ***
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.
[ Funny Government Quotes] ***
You can't say civilization isn't advancing; in every war they kill you in a new way.
[ Funny Civilization Quotes] ***
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
[ Funny Lawyer Quotes] ***
We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
[ Funny Hero Quotes] ***
Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
[ Funny Political Quotes] [ Funny Comedy Quotes] ***
Always drink upstream from the herd.
[ Funny Leadership Quotes] ***
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
[ Funny Listening Quotes] [ Funny Silence Quotes] ***
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
[ Funny Women Quotes] ***
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
[ Funny Life Quotes] ***
Heroing is one of the shortest lived professions there is. (The Will Rogers Book, 1961)
[ Funny Hero Quotes] ***
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
[ Funny Humor Quotes] [ Funny Government Quotes] ***
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
[ Funny Communism Quotes] ***
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
[ Funny Political Quotes] [ Funny Humor Quotes] [ Funny Government Quotes] ***
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
[ Funny Humor Quotes] ***
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
[ Funny Business Quotes] ***
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
[ Funny Economics Quotes] ***
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
[ Funny Business Quotes] ***
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.
[ Funny Business Quotes] ***
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
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Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
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This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
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Find more Will Rogers quotes and other famous quotes at Basic Quotations.
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