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Funny Food Quotes - Funny Quotes about Food Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry always gets the best of the argument.
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HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
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I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
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I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
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I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
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Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
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Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
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It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Shredded cabbage goes great with shredded carrots and mayonnaise.
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Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive.
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It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would.
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
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McDonalds announced it’s considering a more humane way of slaughtering its animals. You know they fatten them up and then kill them. You know the same thing they do to their customers, isn’t it?
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I love Thanksgiving turkey...it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
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Most vegetables are something God invented to let women get even with their children. A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels sprouts never do. (The Bachelor Home Companion)
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Come along inside... We'll see if tea and buns can make the world a better place.
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You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make.
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I don't like gourmet cooking or "this" cooking or "that" cooking. I like good cooking.
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A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
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Don't let love interfere with your appetite. It never does with mine.
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I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.
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Noncooks think it's silly to invest two hours' work in two minutes' enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet.
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A bum came up to me saying "I haven't eaten in two days!"
I said, "You should force yourself!"
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A bum told me "I haven't tasted food all week."
I told him "Don't worry, it still tastes the same!"
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But those aren't the flavors. That'd make too much sense. Apple and pear, according to Dr. Phil, are body types the bars are made for. Hey, I've got some advice. If you look like an apple or a pear, eat an apple or a pear! [On Dr. Phil's energy bars]
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Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
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The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
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Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.
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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four; unless there are three other people.
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I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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I tell you one thing. I've been to a parallel universe, I've seen time running backwards, I've played pool with planets, and I've given birth to twins, but I never thought in my entire life I'd taste an edible Pot Noodle.
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We don't discuss anything anyway. Unless it appears on Patrick's official breakfast-time agenda. And that consists mainly of food. Minutes of the last meal and proposals for the next.
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You know that really was quite the most appalling mean I've ever tasted. I'd forgotten how bad she was. Burnt Earl Grey omelettes. It's almost an art form to mistreat food in that way.
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No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.
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Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
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Isn't there any other part of the matzo you can eat? (on being served matzo ball soup three meals in a row)
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The real fact is that I could no longer stand their eternal cold mutton. (on why he left England for South Africa)
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Watermelon—it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.
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Many aspects of my method are based on my feeling and experience. For instance, I always give my bird a generous butter massage before I put it in the oven. Why? Because I think the chicken likes it—and, more important, *I* like to give it.
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Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better.
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If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.
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Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts.
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I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
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It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
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The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
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American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
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Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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You can never have enough garlic. With enough garlic, you can eat The New York Times.
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