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Today's Funny Clean Jokes & Humor

Clean Joke of the Day

Albert Einstein

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

"The must incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible."

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love."

"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your
grandmother."

"The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat."

"When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones!"

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S RELATIVITY."

"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

All quotes by Albert Einstein


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Today's Law of the Universe

from Basic Laws of the Universe

The First Law of Photography

The best shots happen immediately after the last frame is exposed.

For more somewhat cynical but always humorous views of the world in which we live, please visit our sister site
- Basic Laws of the Universe -


 
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Funny Quotes of the Day

from Basic Quotations

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
- Dan Rather
More funny quotes on: [ Driving ][ Americans ]

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks.
- Pierre August Renoir
More funny quotes on: [ Food ][ Old People ]

There ought to be one day -- just one -- where there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers
More funny quotes on: [ Politics ]

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Funny Cartoons of the Day


Funny Cartoons:

Agnus Day
Altar Ego
Back Pew
CartoonStock.com
Church of the Covered Dish
Church Mice
Golf
Jawtoons
Mostly Business
Reverend Fun
Stan & Isaac
Strange Breed
Thanks for Nuttin
The Funny Pages
Theophilus
Toon Fever
Toy Trunk Railroad


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