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Clean Jokes, Funny Quotes & Funny Cartoons

Clean Jokes for a Dirty World

Come back daily to enjoy our 'Clean Joke of the Day'. Enjoy our collection of funny clean jokes in hundreds of categories along with funny quotes, riddles, funny cartoons, funny answering machine messages, one liners and more! Be sure to check out our newly revised Funny Quotes section.

	Riddles
	Riddles are puzzles, consisting of text with a question to answer. Contemporary riddles typically use puns and double entendres for humorous effect; these riddles are now mostly children's humor.

Funny Jokes: Funny Riddles

Riddles

Riddle of the Day

How many French soldiers does it take to defend...

Q. How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

A. Don't know, it's never been tried.

Funny Riddles

Why don't Mexicans BBQ?

2005-07-11 | 87079

2.0 | 2410

A blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building

2005-07-13 | 32409

2.7 | 861

Turkey Riddle #2

2001-11-24 | 35839

2.0 | 671

Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?

2005-07-13 | 31210

2.3 | 659

What do you call two fat men having a chat?

2006-04-19 | 23668

2.1 | 574

Why was Michael Jackson grounded?

2005-07-16 | 16969

1.4 | 494

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

2005-07-13 | 24439

2.4 | 423

How are men like UFOs?

2005-09-22 | 14561

2.3 | 413

What did the Chevy sat to the Ford?

2005-07-16 | 15129

1.9 | 308

How do you introduce yourself in French?

2005-07-15 | 16407

1.9 | 302

2001-11-24 | 32015

1.7 | 298

Why does it get hot after baseball game?

2005-07-20 | 13557

2.4 | 274

What do you get when you cross a midget ...

2005-07-16 | 20718

2.2 | 247

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

2005-07-14 | 15381

2.5 | 224

Why are most Italian men named Tony?

2005-07-16 | 18206

2.5 | 219

Salt and Pepper

2002-07-05 | 18041

2.3 | 189

Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?

2005-08-09 | 8380

2.0 | 185

What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?

2005-07-15 | 5851

1.6 | 184

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman-

2005-07-14 | 10316

2.5 | 178

Throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff

2005-08-12 | 5552

2.7 | 177

Why is brunette considered an evil color?

2005-07-14 | 11642

1.9 | 172

Why is Mr. Potato Head jealous of Michael Jackson?

2005-07-16 | 12049

2.6 | 168

What do you call a grumpy cow?

2005-07-17 | 13596

2.6 | 165

2001-11-24 | 22817

1.8 | 163

2002-06-22 | 25663

2.7 | 158

Christmas Riddles

2002-07-05 | 24858

2.7 | 153

A Mexican and an Octopus

2005-07-11 | 17478

1.7 | 149

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey...

2005-07-13 | 5223

2.1 | 138

Why do aliens make crop circles?

2005-09-22 | 5596

1.9 | 137

Thanksgiving Dinner

2001-11-24 | 23715

1.5 | 134

What do you call Arab public relations?

2005-07-15 | 12741

1.8 | 132

Why do cats hate flying saucers?

2005-09-22 | 7211

2.3 | 131

Turkey Riddle #3

2001-11-24 | 23162

2.2 | 130

What does Ford stand for?

2005-07-16 | 8458

2.5 | 114

Why don�t you see Penguins in Britain?

2005-08-09 | 6978

3.0 | 113

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

2005-07-16 | 9486

2.4 | 113

Why did the blonde get so excited...

2005-07-13 | 9643

3.2 | 110

What do you get if you cross a midget with Dracula

2005-07-16 | 12430

2.5 | 108

Why are there no brunette jokes?

2005-07-14 | 12116

2.2 | 106

How many lead guitarists does it take to change...

2005-08-27 | 4214

2.2 | 106

What's a pig's favorite ballet?

2006-04-19 | 6372

2.4 | 100

Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

2005-07-14 | 8083

2.1 | 99

Turkey Riddle #4

2001-11-24 | 21409

2.0 | 96

What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?

2005-07-14 | 5433

3.5 | 94

Why did Bush want to send blondes with PMS...

2005-07-14 | 12172

2.2 | 91

What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair...

2005-07-13 | 10561

2.6 | 89

Where do dumb aliens go?

2005-09-22 | 3636

1.9 | 89

What do Penguins sing on a birthday?

2005-08-09 | 6952

2.7 | 85

Why does a blonde only change diapers...

2005-07-13 | 8179

2.1 | 80

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

2005-08-09 | 5781

2.4 | 79

Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of...

2005-07-14 | 7182

2.2 | 79

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

2005-07-13 | 7259

3.0 | 77

How is the Italian version of Christmas different?

2005-07-16 | 12203

2.4 | 77

Topless female accordian players

2005-08-27 | 4661

2.3 | 77

What do Penguins have for lunch?

2005-08-09 | 8180

3.0 | 76

When do monkeys fall from the sky?

2006-04-27 | 3680

2.1 | 75

What is dumber than a brunette building a fire...

2005-07-14 | 9176

2.9 | 72

What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa..

2005-07-16 | 6378

2.2 | 72

Why did the baseball player go to jail?

2005-07-20 | 6088

2.4 | 70

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

2005-07-13 | 6556

3.2 | 68

The bottom of a blond's swimming pool...

2005-07-14 | 4704

1.6 | 68

The Mets and Michael Jackson

2005-07-16 | 5735

2.2 | 65

2001-11-24 | 16840

1.7 | 65

What did Michael Jackson do when his hair caught..

2005-07-16 | 6223

2.2 | 64

Why did the three little pigs decide to leave home

2006-04-19 | 5211

2.0 | 63

Why did the chicken cross the road?

2005-07-16 | 6366

1.9 | 63

2001-11-24 | 18390

2.0 | 62

Make a french horn sound like a trombone

2005-08-22 | 2526

2.6 | 60

Turkey Riddle #5

2001-11-24 | 21461

1.9 | 59

What do hurricanes and steriods have in common?

2005-07-16 | 4764

2.6 | 58

Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

2005-07-15 | 5063

2.9 | 57

What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?

2005-07-16 | 4272

2.6 | 57

Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York

2005-08-03 | 2764

1.9 | 57

What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?

2005-08-09 | 4064

2.8 | 56

Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?

2005-07-14 | 6954

2.2 | 55

When were pigs made?

2005-08-03 | 5191

2.1 | 52

What takes longer, running from first base ...

2005-07-17 | 4602

2.6 | 50

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

2006-04-25 | 6566

2.4 | 50

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

2005-08-22 | 3643

2.2 | 50

What do you call a one legged woman?

2005-07-27 | 2816

2.9 | 49

What do you call a good looking man with a br...

2005-07-14 | 6089

1.8 | 49

The difference between a blond & a terrorist ...

2005-07-14 | 7386

2.5 | 48

What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?

2005-07-15 | 4269

1.9 | 48

Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?

2005-07-13 | 6351

1.8 | 47

Who is a Penguin�s favourite pop star?

2005-08-09 | 3613

1.6 | 47

Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's

2005-07-13 | 4993

2.7 | 46

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb

2006-04-28 | 2873

2.3 | 46

What lights up a soccer stadium?

2005-07-16 | 2474

2.0 | 46

Why don�t Penguins like rock music?

2005-08-09 | 5404

1.6 | 45

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?

2005-07-14 | 5240

2.6 | 44

Which job is a cow most suited for?

2005-07-17 | 5896

2.2 | 44

What's the difference between a German ...

2005-08-06 | 6912

2.0 | 44

What�s black and white and goes round and around?

2005-08-09 | 4210

2.9 | 43

Why do Italians hate Johavah's Witnesses?

2005-07-16 | 7281

2.4 | 43

What do you call a brunette with a blonde...

2005-07-14 | 7173

1.9 | 43

What did the blonde name her pet zebra?

2005-07-13 | 3688

3.0 | 42

Why are so many blonde jokes one liners?

2005-07-14 | 5991

2.0 | 42

How do Penguins drink their cola?

2005-08-09 | 4305

2.0 | 42

What do you call a brunette in a room full...

2005-07-14 | 7134

2.3 | 41

What do mother Penguins say to their children ...

2005-08-09 | 4122

2.1 | 41

Why don't Italians have freckles?

2005-07-16 | 7895

2.2 | 40

What has more lives than a cat?

2005-07-21 | 3822

2.1 | 40

Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?

2005-07-16 | 2450

2.1 | 40

Why do two Penguins in a nest always agree?

2005-08-09 | 3587

2.4 | 39

An accordion, a set of bagpipes and a viola

2005-08-27 | 2512

2.4 | 39

Why did God invent whiskey?

2005-07-12 | 5108

2.2 | 39

What did the tennis ball say when it got hit?

2005-07-16 | 3243

1.9 | 38

What do they call a boxer who gets beat up...

2006-04-19 | 1920

1.8 | 37

How do you advertise surplus WWII Italian rifles..

2005-07-16 | 3578

2.8 | 36

Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, Dumb Blond & Smart Blond

2005-07-14 | 4533

2.9 | 35

What band is a cow favorite?

2005-07-17 | 5360

2.1 | 35

Who really killed John F. Kennedy?

2005-07-16 | 4808

1.7 | 35

Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?

2005-07-21 | 3879

2.6 | 34

What is the difference between the Dresden bombing

2005-08-06 | 2454

2.3 | 34

How many clarinetists does it take to change ...

2005-08-15 | 1769

2.1 | 34

Why are viola jokes so short?

2005-08-11 | 2981

3.0 | 33

How to trumpet players greet each other?

2005-08-22 | 2165

2.5 | 32

How did Moses part the Red Sea?

2006-04-19 | 3572

2.4 | 32

2005-07-21 | 4539

2.4 | 32

2005-07-17 | 3765

2.2 | 32

How many French horn players does it take ...

2005-08-22 | 2347

2.2 | 32

What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?

2005-07-13 | 5475

1.6 | 32

What do you call a smart blond?

2005-07-13 | 3566

2.9 | 31

Why are French streets tree-lined?

2005-07-15 | 5201

2.4 | 31

What's a accordion good for?

2005-08-27 | 2141

2.2 | 31

Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers

2005-07-29 | 3732

3.1 | 30

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

2005-07-17 | 4846

2.6 | 30

How do we know that Christ was Irish?

2005-07-12 | 4987

2.5 | 30

What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade

2005-07-13 | 3023

3.2 | 29

Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

2005-07-13 | 3088

3.1 | 28

Why do men like blonde jokes?

2005-07-14 | 4411

2.4 | 28

Why did the blonde secretary cut off her finger?

2005-07-14 | 2676

1.8 | 28

A car salesman and a computer salesman

2005-07-26 | 3495

1.8 | 28

What do you call an uncircumcised Jew ...

2005-08-04 | 3302

2.1 | 27

What is the difference between Yankee fans ...

2005-07-17 | 3453

2.0 | 27

Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?

2005-07-17 | 4845

2.5 | 26

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving?

2005-07-15 | 1556

1.9 | 26

How do you drown a blond?

2005-07-14 | 3059

3.0 | 25

Did you hear about the blond skydiver?

2005-07-13 | 2378

2.9 | 25

How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?

2005-07-15 | 3632

2.2 | 25

How do you say hello in French?

2005-07-15 | 4710

1.8 | 25

How many Frenchmen does it take to change ...

2005-07-15 | 3756

2.6 | 24

Why do elephants walk on four feet?

2005-07-16 | 1816

2.2 | 24

How many alto sax players does it take to change..

2005-08-15 | 1666

2.0 | 24

How do you double the value of a Ford Pinto?

2005-07-16 | 4337

3.2 | 23

A Smart Blonde & Bigfoot

2005-07-13 | 2632

3.1 | 23

Do you know what a Jewish dilemma is?

2006-04-25 | 2959

3.1 | 23

What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM...

2005-07-13 | 2906

3.1 | 23

The least-used sentence in the English language

2005-08-27 | 2813

2.9 | 23

What is a crafty pig called?

2005-08-03 | 4288

2.2 | 23

Why does the new Italian Navy use glass ...

2005-07-16 | 3314

2.1 | 23

Why did the baseball player take his bat ...

2005-07-20 | 4495

3.0 | 22

What do you get when you cross an Italian ...

2005-07-16 | 7752

2.5 | 22

What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

2005-07-21 | 2938

2.2 | 22

What do you call a pimple on an Italian?

2005-07-16 | 6250

1.6 | 22

How many Polaks does it take to change a light ...

0000-00-00 | 2840

1.4 | 22

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

2005-07-13 | 2154

3.1 | 21

What's the difference between trumpet players ...

2005-08-22 | 1665

2.7 | 21

Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?

2005-08-15 | 1349

1.7 | 21

How do you keep a blonde busy?

2005-07-13 | 2408

3.1 | 20

Why do blondes like lightning?

2005-07-13 | 1996

2.6 | 20

What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intel...

2005-07-14 | 3445

2.2 | 20

Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?

2005-07-13 | 3195

2.1 | 20

Where can you find 90,000,000 French jokes?

2005-07-15 | 2837

1.6 | 20

How was the canon invented?

2005-08-12 | 1586

1.4 | 20

If a bear in Yosemite, and one in Alaska fall ...

2005-07-17 | 3622

2.9 | 19

How do you sink a polish battleship?

2005-07-16 | 2464

2.7 | 19

What does FIAT stand for?

2005-07-16 | 4267

1.9 | 19

What's the difference between a Frenchman...

2005-07-15 | 3219

1.5 | 19

What did the barber say to the Italian kid?

2005-07-16 | 5524

2.6 | 18

How many French soldiers does it take to defend...

2005-07-15 | 2155

2.5 | 18

How many trumpet players does it take ...

2005-08-22 | 1757

2.4 | 18

What did the exasperated Jewish pig say?

2005-08-03 | 2955

2.4 | 18

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

2005-07-13 | 2708

2.3 | 18

If Tarzan and Jane were Italian ...

2005-07-16 | 5794

2.7 | 17

Why did the blonde bake a chicken...

2005-07-14 | 2663

2.7 | 17

Why do blondes have more fun?

0000-00-00 | 2335

2.7 | 17

Why did the communist kittens become capitalists?

2005-07-21 | 2084

2.6 | 17

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?

2005-07-21 | 2972

3.2 | 16

Why are the new Ford trucks more aerodymic?

2005-07-16 | 3663

2.8 | 16

What's a bassoon good for?

2005-08-27 | 1766

2.2 | 16

A Blonde in an M&M Factory

2005-07-13 | 2547

2.1 | 16

What do you call a man who only needs body armour

2005-07-15 | 2503

1.9 | 16

The child of a trombonist

2005-08-22 | 1564

3.5 | 15

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine

2005-08-15 | 2149

2.9 | 15

What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein...

2005-07-15 | 1443

2.7 | 15

Blonde Lightbulb Joke #3

2005-07-14 | 1695

2.5 | 15

The sound of a banjo

2005-08-27 | 1212

2.5 | 15

Why do French tanks have 6 reverse gears ...

2005-07-15 | 2557

2.3 | 15

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

2005-07-16 | 3432

2.2 | 15

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?

2005-08-27 | 1955

1.9 | 15

What did the blonde think of the new computer?

2005-07-14 | 2050

1.5 | 15

Fishermen and Hypochondriacs

2006-04-23 | 1975

2.3 | 14

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen ...

2005-07-15 | 2500

2.1 | 14

Why do bands have bass players?

2005-08-22 | 1937

2.1 | 14

How do you play Taliban bingo?

2005-07-15 | 1480

1.9 | 14

What do you call an Italian with an I.Q. of 180?

2005-07-16 | 5363

1.9 | 14

What did the gambler do with his cards?

2005-07-17 | 3227

1.6 | 14

Why does it take 5 Irishmen to change a lightbulb?

2005-07-12 | 3829

3.1 | 13

How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?

2005-08-11 | 1950

2.9 | 13

Why is the French horn a divine instrument?

2005-08-22 | 1720

2.9 | 13

The difference between an Uzi and an accordion

2005-08-27 | 1652

2.8 | 13

How do you take census in a Polish village?

2005-07-16 | 2206

2.7 | 13

What's happening when you hear "woof... splat...

2005-07-21 | 2994

2.6 | 13

What do you get when you cross a chick ...

2005-07-21 | 2441

2.4 | 13

What language do the Vatican Police speak?

2005-07-16 | 4144

2.1 | 13

What's the difference between a washing machine...

2005-08-12 | 2098

2.1 | 13

How does an Italian get into an honest business?