Insults

-- A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
-- You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
-- You won't get arrested for picking up coffee on the street at 3 a.m.
-- You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
-- You can get cup after cup of different coffees all day long.
-- No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
-- Coffee doesn't talk to you.
-- Most coffee is hot, unless you request it otherwise.
-- Coffee stains are easier to remove.
-- Coffee is ready in 10 minutes or less.
-- When coffee gets cold, you can throw it away.
-- When you drink coffee, you don't end up with a pube in the back of your throat.
-- Coffee doesn't take up half your bed and all the hot water.