Dirty Jokes

A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''?

The man replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice try.''

The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you think I am?''

The man replies, ''You're 37, right?''

The lady says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.''

After lunch, she gets on the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my hand down her panties.''

So, quietly and quickly, she lets him do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!''
The lady, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?''

The old man replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''