God Jokes

Every Time A Bell Rings, An Angel...



* Spit-polishes his halo

* Buys a maxi-pad with wings

* Drops out of a so-called "Choir of Angels" because that's really just a place for a bunch of diva show-offs to shine sunbeams up God's butt

* Orders a plate of "Hades Hot" Buffalo wings

* Drinks a little too much of Junior's blood and falls off a cloud

* Listens to Paul McCartney sing with his band "Wings"

* Takes a heavenly crap

* Decides to reveal the Lord's majesty to the masses by appearing on some aluminum siding in east Texas

* Obeys his Pavlovian conditioning, and barks like a dog

* Sits down for dinner

* Prank calls the miserable whiners in Hell

* Gets his union card

* Takes the fruitcake out of the oven

* Gets his wings ripped from his back, so they can be given to a more angelic and deserving angel

* Tells a mortal, "Oh c'mon, jump already! I don't got all day!"