God Jokes

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!



What's the definition of a teenager?

God's punishment for enjoying sex.



Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?

They'll never see you coming.



What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?

S&M&M.



What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?

Both capture the moment.



Define Transvestite:

A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!



Why is being in the military like a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.



What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?

A scrotum pole!



What's the ultimate in rejection?

When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.



Why don't debutantes go to orgies?

There'd be too many thank-you notes to write.



What did the Indian say when the white man tied his penis in a knot?

''How come?''



What is every Amish woman's private fantasy?

Two Mennonite!



Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.


Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?



What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?

A bingo machine.



How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One... Men will screw anything.