The Joke The Amazing Health Computer

Read the funny The Amazing Health Computer joke in Doctor Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the The Amazing Health Computer joke at BasicJokes.com!
The Amazing Health Computer

The Amazing Health Computer Joke |
---|
What's The Joke The Amazing Health Computer?
One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Jeffery figured he had nothing to lose, so he took his urine sample to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter's using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife's pregnant - twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Ride the Waves ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, every time …
- The Doctor's Convention ‐ There's a bunch of doctors gathered …
- DUI Enforcement ‐ One night, a police officer was …
- Elderly Marriage and Medical Past ‐ Two elderly folks in a nursing …
- Iraqi Funerals ‐ Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers …
- Geek Booty Call... Calculus ‐ I need some help with my calculus. …
- Useless Tickets ‐ A little kid goes to his first …
- Clone Humor ‐ Two clones are on a roof. One clone …
- Sheep and Kangaroo ‐ Q: What do you get when you cross …
- The Engineer and the Frog ‐ An engineer crosses a road when …
- Classic Booty Call... Tear ‐ If you were a tear in my eye, I …
- Merle Goes Out Drinking Every Night... ‐ Every night …
- The Deserted Island ‐ On a beautiful deserted island …
- Get What? ‐ Where'd you …
- Sex Before Marriage ‐ John: I didn't sleep with my wife …
- Alien Booty Call... Heart ‐ You've stolen my heart. Luckily, …
- The Praying Parrot ‐ A middle aged woman lived alone …
- Signs That The Vice President Has a Bad Heart ‐ 1. Always looks like he's pledging …
- Christmas Eve - Reindeers' Night Out ‐ What do the female reindeer do …
- In the Groove ‐ A hippie saunters into an urban …