The Joke Priest's First Mass
Read the funny Priest's First Mass joke in God Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Priest's First Mass joke at BasicJokes.com!
Priest's First Mass
Priest's First Mass Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Priest's First Mass?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the
monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T" 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me." 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry." 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A- Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. |
More Jokes
Funny Jokes Of The Day
- I Had a Dream ‐ Saddam Hussein phoned President …
- English, Irish & Scottish Football ‐ An Englishman, a Scotsman, and …
- RIng of Power ‐ In the movie, "Lord of the Rings" …
- Oh, Those Darn Lawyers ‐ Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, …
- Heavenly Marital Help ‐ Betty and Tim die in a car accident …
- Yo' Mama Is Like... Ass Hair ‐ Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally …
- Such Talent ‐ You sing so well you belong on …
- Blonde Joke 3 ‐ A blonde buys two horses and she …
- Hipster Booty Call... Clothes ‐ Wow, your t-shirt is even more …
- Female Hormones in Beer ‐ Two men drink …
- Yo mama's So Ugly...Halloween ‐ Yo' mama so ugly, they give her …
- Geriatric Acrobatics ‐ Two old women were talking about …
- Donkey and Onion ‐ What do you get when you cross …
- The Aging Explorer ‐ A young reporter went to a retirement …
- Seriously, this has got to stop ‐ Two blondes walked in to a bar...Thought …
- Monkey Programmers ‐ A tourist walked into a pet shop …
- Blonde in Motion ‐ What is blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette-blonde-brunette. …
- Dinosaur Booty Call... Herbivore ‐ Just because you're a plant-eater …
- Monday Night Osama ‐ What is Osama bin Laden's favorite …
- Jock Booty Call... My Handler ‐ Hey babe, I'd like you to be my …