The Joke Priest's First Mass
![Basic Jokes Basic Jokes](/images/basicjokes.jpg)
Read the funny Priest's First Mass joke in God Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Priest's First Mass joke at BasicJokes.com!
Priest's First Mass
![Priest's First Mass Hilarious Joke Priest's First Mass Hilarious Joke](/images/hilariousjoke.jpg)
Priest's First Mass Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Priest's First Mass?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the
monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T" 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me." 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry." 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A- Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. |
More Jokes
![Laughing At Funny Joke Laughing At Funny Joke](/images/laughingatfunnyjoke.jpg)
Funny Jokes Of The Day
- American Divorce ‐ If a man and a woman get married …
- Extra Large Condoms ‐ A woman asks the pharmacist if …
- Times When the F-word Was Appropriate ‐ People get really upset when you …
- Yo' Mama Is So Poor... Rebates ‐ Yo' Mama is so poor, she looks …
- Blonde and the Bottle Cap ‐ Q: Why did the blonde keep taking …
- Circumcisional Evidence ‐ Q: How do you circumcise a whale? …
- Hippie and the Nun ‐ One day a Hippie gets onto a bus. …
- Porcupine vs. Bus ‐ Q: What's the difference between …
- Lucky MotherDucker ‐ Once there was a farmer. He had …
- Man vs. Public Toilet ‐ Q: What do men and public toilets …
- Holy Cow ‐ A farmer walks out on his field …
- Knock-Knock Blonde ‐ Q: Why can't you tell blondes knock-knock …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Full Sweaters ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint …
- Blonde in Disguise ‐ Tired of constant blonde jokes, …
- Bar: Alien Poker ‐ An alien walked into a bar and …
- A Fashion Sense ‐ Yo mama so fat, she has a real …
- Jock Booty Call... Rack ‐ Hey babe, I'd like to take it your …
- Blonde Radio ‐ A blonde bought an a.m. radio and …
- Q. Whats the difference between George W. ... ‐ Q. What''s the difference between …
- Disney Divorce Court ‐ Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are …