Insults

-- You wake up on pavement.
-- You can't find the clothes you wore home from the party.
-- Your twin forgets your birthday.
-- You wake up to discover your waterbed broke, and then remember you don't have a waterbed.
-- You wake up with your mouth guard stuck, and then remember you don't wear a mouth guard.
-- Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband.
-- You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
-- Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George