The Joke Are You Ready for Kids?

Read the funny Are You Ready for Kids? joke in Jokes about Kids to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Are You Ready for Kids? joke at BasicJokes.com!
Are You Ready for Kids?

Are You Ready for Kids? Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Are You Ready for Kids??
A simple tests to determine your preparedness for children:
MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the cat's litter box, then on the walls. Cover the stains with a coating of crayon. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos (you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not shout expletives as this could wake a sleeping child. GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you to the grocery store. Keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. DRESSING TEST: Obtain one unhappy, live octopus. Wake it up early and try to stuff it into a small net bag. Don't forget the mittens. FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic jug. Fill halfway with milk. Suspend the jug from the ceiling and start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of applesauce into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Once you've succeeded, dump the contents of the jug on the floor. NIGHT TEST: Fill a small cloth bag with 10 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag. At 9 p.m., lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, waltz and sing every song you have ever heard until 1 a.m. Repeat between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. Set alarm for 5 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for three years. Remain cheerful. PHYSICAL TEST: Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to your midsection. Leave it there for nine months, then remove 10% of the beans. FISCAL TEST: Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Leave it there. Now proceed to the nearest grocery store and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited into their account. FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve on both their disciplinary practices and their exercise of patience. Feel confident that you have all the answers. Take note of their expressions. Now run -- fast. |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Pantyhose ‐ How many animals can you fit in …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Belt ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to …
- Yo' Mama Is So Flat... Pirate's Dream ‐ Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't …
- Loser Booty Call... Apartment ‐ Wow, you have your own apartment? …
- Frog With Special Diet ‐ One night a man walked into a bar …
- Egyptian Pick-Up Line ‐ What did the Egyptian man say to …
- New Bull ‐ Three bulls heard the rancher was …
- Confusing Blonde ‐ Q: How do you confuse …
- Flies In The Beer ‐ An Irishman, …
- Beer Machismo ‐ After the Great Britain Beer Festival, …
- Britney & Christina Get Locked Out ‐ Britney Spears had just bought …
- Accidental Bonding ‐ A woman and man get into a car …
- Christmas In Heaven ‐ Three men all die on Christmas …
- Ketchup and Liquor ‐ (repeat ketchup and liquor after …
- Yo' Mama Is So Skanky... Jumpstart ‐ Yo' Mama is so skanky, her dildo …
- Yo mama's So Stupid...Blizzard ‐ Yo' mama so stupid, she thought …
- Family Honor ‐ A girl was going on her first date …
- The Little Crab ‐ There were two little crabs who …
- Blondes in a Volkswagen ‐ Q: What do you call four blondes …
- Blonde Valedictorian ‐ A blonde came home from school …