Marriage Jokes

-- You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close.

-- Your potted plants stay alive.

-- You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill.

-- Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces.

-- You attend parties that the police don't raid.

-- You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking.

-- You refer to college students as "those kids."

-- You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer.

-- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza.

-- At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out.

-- Naps are no longer weekday options.

-- Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy.

-- Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips.

-- You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.