The Joke Computer Diagnosis

Read the funny Computer Diagnosis joke in Men/Women to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Computer Diagnosis joke at BasicJokes.com!
Computer Diagnosis

Computer Diagnosis Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Computer Diagnosis?
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- The "No Love" Boat ‐ When the ark's door was closed, …
- Classic Booty Call... Tear ‐ If you were a tear in my eye, I …
- Winnie the Pooh ‐ Question: Why does Tigger smell? …
- Astronaut Booty Call... Docking ‐ Can I dock my rocket at your space …
- Golf In Heaven ‐ God, Jesus and John the Baptist …
- Old Ladies and the Flasher ‐ Three old ladies are sitting on …
- Here, Piggy, Piggy ‐ An old farmer and his wife had …
- Ford Cars -vs- Golf Balls ‐ What's the difference between a …
- Comedy Central's Alleged Humor ‐ Every Time A Bell …
- Lawyer and Pig Crossing ‐ Q: What do you get when you cross …
- Gourmet Booty Call... Boil ‐ I can bring you to a …
- Girl Power! ‐ A little boy is playing with his …
- I feel like chicken tonight ‐ Why did George Bush cross …
- Cat On A Hot Tin Roof ‐ A man left his cat with his brother …
- Geek Booty Call... Wavelength ‐ You and I appear to be on the same …
- Lincoln Booty Call... Address ‐ Can I give you my Gettysburg address? …
- Yo' Mama Is So Old... Fred Flintstone ‐ Yo' Mama is so old, she used to …
- The Fish-Eating Competition ‐ One day some fisherman caught tons …
- Q. Whats the difference between George W. ... ‐ Q. What''s the difference between …
- Yo' Mama Is So Ugly... Portraits ‐ Yo' Mama is so ugly, her portraits …