Police Business & Military Jokes

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f*ck". It is the one magical word, which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, "f*ck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (Mary f*cked John) and intransitive (John was f*cked by Mary). It can be an action verb (John really gives a f*ck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a f*ck), an adverb (Mary is f*cking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific f*ck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is f*cking beautiful) or an interjection (F*ck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (John is ugly, f*ck, he's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "f*ck."

Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
1) Surprise -- "What the f*ck are you doing here?"
2) Fraud -- "I got f*cked by the car dealer."
3) Resignation -- "Oh, f*ck it!"
4) Trouble -- "I guess I'm f*cked now."
5) Aggression -- "F*CK YOU!"
6) Disgust -- "F*ck me."
7) Confusion -- "What the f*ck...?"
8) Difficulty -- "I don't understand this f*cking business!"
9) Despair -- "F*cked again...."
10) Pleasure -- "I f*cking couldn't be happier."
11) Displeasure -- "What the f*ck is going on here?"
12) Lost -- "Where the f*ck are we?"
13) Disbelief -- "UN-F*CKING-BELIEVABLE!"
14) Retaliation -- "Up your f*cking ass!"
15) Denial -- "I didn't f*cking do it."
16) Perplexity -- "I know f*ck-all about it."
17) Apathy -- "Who really gives a f*ck, anyhow?"
18) Greetings -- "How the f*ck are ya?"
19) Suspicion -- "Who the f*ck are you?"
20) Panic -- "Let's get the f*ck out of here."
21) Directions -- "F*ck off."
22) Awe -- "How the f*ck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description -- "He's a f*cking asshole." It can be used to tell time -- "It's five f*cking thirty." It can be used in business -- "How did I wind up with this f*cking job?" It can be maternal -- "Motherf*cker." It can be political -- "F*ck Clinton!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the f*ck was that?" -- Mayor of Hiroshima
"Where did all these f*cking Indians come from?" -- General Custer
"That's not a real f*cking gun, is it?" -- John Lennon
"Who's gonna f*cking find out?" -- Richard Nixon
"Why the f*ck did that apple hit me?" -- Issac Newton
"Heads are going to f*cking roll." -- Marie Antoinette
"I could have used a f*cking map." -- Ulysses
"Where the f*ck is all this water coming from?" -- Captain of the Titanic
"Any f*cking idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein
"It DOES SO f*cking look like her!" -- Picasso
"Okay, I know... we'll build this BIG f*cking wall to keep them out." -- Emperor of the Ch'in Dynasty
"I can't believe I just f*cking said that." -- Patrick Henry
"F*cking backstabbers!" -- Julius Caesar
"You want what on the f*cking ceiling?" -- Michelangelo
"Fellatio is not f*cking!" -- Bill Clinton
"Where is that f*cking pizza guy?" -- Elvis
"Why? Because its f*cking there!" -- Sir Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its gonna f*cking rain?" -- Joan of Arc
"Scattered f*cking showers my ass." -- Noah
"I need this parade like I need a f*cking hole in my head." -- John F. Kennedy
"What are the f*cking chances I'm going to heaven?" -- Adolf Hitler
"Hey, where the f*ck are your turbans?" -- Christopher Columbus when he discovered the "Indians".