School Jokes

    A herd of buffalo can only move as fast
as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at
the back of the herd that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole herd is maintained or
even improved by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the
electrical signals pass.

Recent emiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.   Thus, regular consumption of spirits helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job-related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of completing university
studies and then getting married and settling down, most professionals cannot keep up with
the performance of the new graduates.  Only those few that stick to the strict
regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they
achieved during their university years.

    So, this is a call to arms.  As our
country is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes.  But get
back into the bars  and pubs and quaff that pint!  Your company and your country
needs you to be at your peak, and at your best, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career
opportunities that you could achieve through excessive alcohol consumption.  Take
life by the bottle and be all that you can be! And remember a good  cold beer will
kill those bad, useless brain cells that are slowing you  down and it will make the
necessary room needed to get the good brain cells up front and at the top ready to perform
at their best.  So bottoms up, down  the hatch, look out brain it's coming fast!