The Joke Contraceptives '98

Read the funny Contraceptives '98 joke in Work Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Contraceptives '98 joke at BasicJokes.com!
Contraceptives '98

Contraceptives '98 Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Contraceptives '98?
Microsoft's Latest Venture
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings. The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for startups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches. While Contraceptive98 does not address nontraditional copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. OPERATION: Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After installation, operation commences. One precaution is that the user must be sure they have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message, it is now safe to turn off your partner. DRAWBACKS: Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its used. CONCLUSION: Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore, uninterruptible Power Supply and Onboard Camera. Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic that "Our contraceptive products will help users do to each other what we've been doing to our customers for years." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Pumpkin Pumper Pumped For Info ‐ Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year …
- Old Ladies and the Flasher ‐ Three old ladies are sitting on …
- Yo' Mama's Teeth... Gang Signs ‐ Yo' Mama's teeth are so crooked, …
- World War III ‐ Bush and Powell were sitting in …
- It's Very Difficult To Marry Princesses ‐ Three men want to marry the king's …
- Rabbit Sex ‐ Q: Why don't rabbits make noise …
- Blonde Brain Cell ‐ Q: What do you call a blonde with …
- Cross the Road... Little Cow ‐ Q: Why did the calf cross …
- From the WordPerfect Help Desk ‐ This is a true story from the WordPerfect …
- Yo' Mama Is So Dirty... Speedstick ‐ Yo' Mama is so dirty, she makes …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Ski Slope ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, people use …
- Cross the Road... Forgetful Chicken ‐ Q: Why did the forgetful chicken …
- Blonde's Finals ‐ A blonde walked into her final …
- Another Chicken, Another Road ‐ Q: Why did the stoner cross the …
- Bird Brained ‐ Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. …
- Yo mama's so fat... airplane ‐ Your mama's so fat she went on …
- Politics and Golf ‐ Q: What golfing what foursome do …
- Husband & Wife ‐ Scene: Suburban home, living room. …
- Clinton Puts His Two Bucks In ‐ One day Bill Clinton decides to …
- Snow Parking ‐ Harry and Martha drank their coffee …