Animal Jokes

Three dogs were sitting in the vet's waiting room. One of the dogs was looking glum, so the second dog turned to him and asked, "What are you in for?"

"I'm in big trouble. My owner has a really nice sports car with leather seats. He took me for a ride, and I was so excited I peed on the seat. Now he's having me put to sleep."

"I know how you feel," said the second dog. "My owner has a beautiful expensive oriental rug. The other day they were late getting home from work and I just couldn't help myself, I sh*t all over their nice carpet and ruined it. They're having me put to sleep too."

Both dogs turned to the third dog in the waiting room. "So why are you here?" they asked.

"My owner likes to do her housework in the nude. The other day, she knelt down to vacuum under the sofa, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and had the ride of my life."

The other dogs nodded in sympathy, "So she's having you put to sleep, too, huh?"

"No," said the third dog, "I'm having my nails clipped."