The Joke Rules of the Southern Lifestyle

Read the funny Rules of the Southern Lifestyle joke in Country Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Rules of the Southern Lifestyle joke at BasicJokes.com!
Rules of the Southern Lifestyle

Rules of the Southern Lifestyle Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Rules of the Southern Lifestyle?
All good Southerners already know these, but in fairness to those Yankees who were dumb enough to stay down here:
1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hrs a day, so let them cook something they know. 2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann, Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whip a man's ass for less than that. 3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda -- this can lead to a merciless beating. Down South it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi. 4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play Wyoming every week. 5. Don't refer to Southerner's as a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are/have been more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated, and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense (e.g.Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g. Clinton, Fordice, Duke). We don't care if you think we're dumb, we know better! 6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching, spend your money, and leave. 7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this, everyone will know you're from Ohio. Eat the biscuits like God intended and for goodness sake, don't put sugar in your grits. 8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot faster. 9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home. 10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy ass Northern games, so don't ask about the scores. We...simply...don't...care. 11. We know how to speak proper English, we talk this way because we want to and we can. It's like playing jazz, you have to know how to do it right first. 12. Last, but by no means least...DO NOT try to tell us how to Bar-B-Q. This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa. Consider yourself just damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place. Don't push your luck! |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Chillin' Biddies ‐ One day three old ladies were sitting …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Night and Day ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, she causes …
- Picture Perfect ‐ Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell …
- Third Opinion ‐ Three Doctors are dicussing which …
- Analysis of the ''F'' Word ‐ Perhaps one of the most interesting …
- Donations to the Preacher ‐ After church service, a little …
- Blonde Horses ‐ Why did God give blondes 2% more …
- Old Age ‐ Two old men in a retirement village …
- Yo' Mama Is So Old... Jesus ‐ Yo' Mama is so old, she's got a …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Back Scratcher ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, her back scratcher …
- Dinosaur Booty Call... Herbivore ‐ Just because you're a plant-eater …
- Mafia Christmas ‐ A mafioso's son sits at his desk …
- Hands Under Skirt ‐ Q: What do you call a prostitute …
- Pig in Summer ‐ Q: What did the pig say at the …
- Little Johnny... Big Word ‐ The teacher says, "Today we are …
- Jimmy Learns a New Word ‐ A little boy came home from school …
- Period ‐ Q: What …
- Count Chock Full of Nuts ‐ Q: Why can't a blonde count to …
- Geek Booty Call... Computers ‐ I've got something you need to …
- Classic Booty Call... Tear ‐ If you were a tear in my eye, I …