The Joke The Amazing Health Computer

Read the funny The Amazing Health Computer joke in Dirty Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the The Amazing Health Computer joke at BasicJokes.com!
The Amazing Health Computer

The Amazing Health Computer Joke |
---|
What's The Joke The Amazing Health Computer?
One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Jeffery figured he had nothing to lose, so he took his urine sample to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter's using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife's pregnant - twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Little Johnny... Finding Jesus ‐ A Sunday school teacher is concerned …
- Joke Written By and For Retards ‐ Two guys were working at a sawmill …
- Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble ‐ 10. Sometimes stays in bed till …
- The Dynamite Kid ‐ There were these two people in …
- Geek Booty Call... Sniffer ‐ My sniffer wants to decode your …
- Blonde's Shoes ‐ Q: Why do blondes have TGIF …
- 2 Weeks to Live ‐ A man goes to the doctor and gets …
- The New Motorcycle ‐ This guy buys a new motorcycle. …
- LifeSavers ‐ What do LifeSavers do that men …
- Almost Famous ‐ "You remind me of a famous movie …
- Two Blondes Face a Parking Dilemma ‐ Every day after work two blondes …
- Dear Old Dad ‐ Q: What did Saddam Hussein have …
- Astronaut Booty Call... Ejection ‐ Can you help me achieve a coronal …
- Yo' Mama... Sex Positions ‐ Q: What sexual positions make the …
- Inching Along ‐ There was a man who had a 25 inch …
- Perfect Penis ‐ Little Johnny walked in one day …
- Blonde Bicycle ‐ Q: Why did the blonde run with …
- Corporate Booty Call... Power Point ‐ I know where your …
- Turtles and Picnics and a Minor Tragedy ‐ Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and …
- What P.M.S. Stands For ‐ Pass …