The Joke Contraceptives '98

Read the funny Contraceptives '98 joke in Pop Culture & Celebrity Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Contraceptives '98 joke at BasicJokes.com!
Contraceptives '98

Contraceptives '98 Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Contraceptives '98?
Microsoft's Latest Venture
News just in of Microsoft's latest venture: Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex. Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement market. The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of human beings. The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities). A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for startups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches. While Contraceptive98 does not address nontraditional copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year. OPERATION: Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After installation, operation commences. One precaution is that the user must be sure they have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets the message, it is now safe to turn off your partner. DRAWBACKS: Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs, but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be installed each time its used. CONCLUSION: Contraceptive98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it is reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as Backout and Restore, uninterruptible Power Supply and Onboard Camera. Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic that "Our contraceptive products will help users do to each other what we've been doing to our customers for years." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Yo' Mama's Teeth... Yellow Light ‐ Yo' Mama's teeth are so yellow, …
- Doughboy ‐ What do you get when the Pillsbury …
- Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Ugly Ass ‐ Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her …
- Jock Booty Call... Bin ‐ Hey babe, I'd like to check out …
- A.J. Jamal: Jeopardy! ‐ I'm sweating like a black man on …
- Blonde vs. Crime Rate ‐ Q: What did the blonde do when …
- Scottish Cheapskates ‐ A Scottish man heads for home after …
- You Bet Your (Sex) Life ‐ A golfer is in a competitive match …
- 15 Signs You Drank Too Much ‐ 15 - You spent Sunday night in …
- 80s Booty Call... Kirk Cameron ‐ Like Kirk Cameron, I too am experiencing …
- Loony Bin ‐ A man goes into a psychiatric hospital …
- Dead Frog ‐ A young boy walks into a whore …
- Another Bull Name ‐ Q: What is another name for a masturbating …
- Panda Booty Call... Riddle ‐ (Winking) What's black and white, …
- Alien Booty Call... Nirzfilk ‐ If I said you had a beautiful nirzfilk, …
- W.I.F.E. ‐ Two guys and a girl were sitting …
- Paying the Price ‐ William and Mildred decided to …
- Cheatin' Johnny ‐ In class one day, Mr. Johnson pulled …
- John McCain's Band ‐ Q: What is John McCain's favorite …
- Get What? ‐ Where'd you …