The Joke Famous People Say the Darndest Things

Read the funny Famous People Say the Darndest Things joke in Pop Culture & Celebrity Jokes to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the Famous People Say the Darndest Things joke at BasicJokes.com!
Famous People Say the Darndest Things

Famous People Say the Darndest Things Joke |
---|
What's The Joke Famous People Say the Darndest Things?
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do."
Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State) "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette "And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns "Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966) "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." Sharon Stone "My girlfriend always laughs during sex-no matter what she's reading." Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers) "My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." Dan Rather (News anchorman) "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?" Arnold Schwarzenegger "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead) "I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses) "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master." Rev. Jesse Jackson "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady) "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." Roseanne "In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts?" Hugh Grant "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." Rod Stewart., aging cover band singer |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Geek Booty Call... Google ‐ Come on, I'm tired of Googling …
- Geek Booty Call... Body ‐ One of my body parts is radioactive. …
- Big Family ‐ After an overnight flight to meet …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Phone Book ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, she's got more …
- Ceramic Guys ‐ What do guys and ceramic tiles …
- Keep it on the DL ‐ What does a old posty bike and …
- Yo mama's So Stupid...Peep Hole ‐ Yo' mama so stupid, she bought …
- Breast-icons ‐ perfect breasts …
- Fly Off The Toilet ‐ Why did the fly fall off the toilet? …
- Mike Tyson's Beer ‐ Q: Did you hear Mike Tyson invented …
- Rotten Reggie ‐ There is this third grade class …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Fitness Referral ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, the local gym …
- Drinking Game: Big Lebowski ‐ The way this game works is every …
- Perfect Ten ‐ What is Michael Jackson's idea …
- Peanut Butter Rooster ‐ Q: What do you get when you cross …
- Dentist ‐ A lady walked into a dentist's …
- Horny Old Ladies ‐ Two elderly ladies are sitting …
- The Engineer and the Frog ‐ An engineer crosses a road when …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Twins ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, when she was …
- Eighty-six ‐ A couple was boasting to another …