The Joke The Amazing Health Computer

Read the funny The Amazing Health Computer joke in Something Funny to make you laugh out loud :) See how long you can go with a straight face :| after seeing the The Amazing Health Computer joke at BasicJokes.com!
The Amazing Health Computer

The Amazing Health Computer Joke |
---|
What's The Joke The Amazing Health Computer?
One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Jeffery figured he had nothing to lose, so he took his urine sample to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited $10.00. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter's using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife's pregnant - twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better." |
More Jokes

Funny Jokes Of The Day
- Yo' Mama Is So Stanky... Deodorant ‐ Yo' Mama is so stanky, her Sure …
- Troublesome Train ‐ A man and his wife check into a …
- Dirty Football Talk ‐ -- The hole closed on him before …
- Redneck's Last Words ‐ What are a typical redneck's three …
- Bush, Cheney, and the Buck ‐ Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed …
- 40' Long and Stinky ‐ What is 40 feet long and smells …
- 80s Booty Call... Puzzle ‐ I'd like to solve your Rubik's …
- Dear God ‐ A little boy wanted $100 badly …
- I Had a Dream ‐ Saddam Hussein phoned President …
- Wavey Blonde ‐ Why did they have to stop doing …
- Voices! Voices! Shut up! ‐ A teacher asked a pupil a question, …
- Toe Tells Signs ‐ Q: What do the toes say when they …
- Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Pour Water ‐ Yo' Mama is so stupid, she can't …
- Jock vs. Nerd ‐ $ Michael Jordan having …
- Yo' Mama Is So Stupid... Police Report ‐ Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported …
- Blonde's Favorite Group ‐ Q: What is a blonde's favorite …
- Male Grapes and Female Wine ‐ Men are like a …
- Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Stadium Seating ‐ Yo' Mama is so fat, when she goes …
- The Mother F*cker ‐ This guy walks into a bar and goes …
- Elementary, My Dear Jerkface ‐ Sherlock Holmes and Watson were …