Work Jokes

Run one lap around the office at top speed

Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player'must be in the
bathroom at the time)

Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to
say I can't talk right now. Bye"

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm,
that feels soooooo good!"

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really
prefer it this way"

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.


    THREE-POINT GAGS


Say to your boss, "I like your
style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want
to have to repeat it"

Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a
'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


    FIVE POINT GAGS


At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for
once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points
if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation,
turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.

Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent.

As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut
up, damm it, all of you just shut up!"

At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never
go hungry again".

In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear
that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk  about
it"

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local
resturant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference
call.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely
surprised when someone points it out.

Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets